Broken Beyond Repair
by VMars lover
Summary: Katniss is a depressed teenager. Who cuts herself to cope with the pain of no one caring about her. She is bullied by everyone at school until one day the new student Peeta stands up for her, and changes everything. *rated M for selfharm* Everlark HEA *better then it sounds*
1. The Careers

**AN: Hello everyone, this is my first story I have written. I hope you all love it and follow it and review. I have been through some of the things that will happen in this story. This kind of stuff happens so if any of you self harm and get triggers easily, I will warn you their maybe triggers. I will warn you guys for main triggers. So make sure to read my AN at the beginning of the story. This story will also be both Katniss and Peetas POV, but mostly Katniss. Love you all 3**

Beta review by ScribblinWriter. Go check her out!

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Chapter 1  
I walk down the street crossing each street without looking. What is the point? I don't care if I am hit. Who would care? No one would.

Today is the first day of my senior year. Most people would be happy, but I'm not. I stuff my hands further into my pockets because I'm starting to feel the anxiety of what might be waiting for me when I get there. I think back to the past couple of years, on how much worse it has gotten. I shake my head to clear it. I can't be thinking like this right now.

I walk 5 more minutes thinking about nothing. As I reach the school grounds I pull my sleeves down more to cover my cuts completely .  
I'm wearing a purple long sleeved shirt along with black skinny jeans and my black sweater. In case you have not noticed I like dark clothes, they reflect my mood. That's how I have always dress.

I walk through the door of my high school also known as my hell hole for the past 4 years. I stop and take a deep breath. I know I must looked weird, just standing in the middle on a doorway closing my eyes and breathing. This is the only way I can calm myself. Then I fall into a flashback of what happened last night.

_~~Flashback~~~_  
I lay in my bed looking at the ceiling, hugging the blades to my chest. I used to be better then this. What happened? I'm shaken from my thoughts when I hear my mom calling me for dinner. They actually care to call me for dinner tonight. I get off my pale purple bed and I head down stairs.

When I get down there I find my step dad, my little sister Prim and mom sitting at the table already. I sit down in a chair which is right between Prim and my step dad. Prim looks like my mom, blonde with blue eyes. Prim is only my half sister. Her dad is my step dad. I don't look like her at all. I look like my dad. I have his gray eyes and dark brown hair.

My parents got married young and had me not even a year later. Everything was fine until I was 2. My parents would fight all the time and I would spend days with out seeing my mom. When she came home, she would come home drunk. Dad tried to keep it together for me, but it was not worth it anymore. He packed everything up and left. My mom blamed me for wrecking their relationship. She still blames me and it has been almost 16 years. And looking like my dead does not help.

A couple months after their divorce my mom remarried. And then 4 years later Prim came along. My mom pictures her the perfect child. And then there's me, the mistake.

Dinner goes by slowly as it has always. I eat what I can, but I'm just not happy. It does not help that its "rabbit food". I have to eat this at every meal. My mom and Prim always make this because they say that my step dad needs to lose weight.  
"Katniss?" My mom asks.  
"Yeah?" I say still playing with my food.  
"Why cant you just be more like your sister?" Asks and smiles at prim. Then continuing "She is beautiful and what are you?"

I feel like I have been slapped. I push my plate away and run up the stairs to my room and lock it behind me. They don't bother to come and check on me, their mistake. I go to my pillow where the blades are and I pick them up heading to the bathroom. I roll my sleeve up and I cut multiple times. Thats for not being like Prim. Prim would never do this, she is perfect. After I'm done I put my blades away and crawl into bed,crying myself to sleep

_~~~Flashback End~~~~_

I reopen my eyes and I continue to walk towards the main office to go pick up my schedule and get to my locker. At the window there is a woman with crazy orange hair. God tell me that is a wig. I think. She gives me a smile, I can clearly see that It's fake. I look into her eyes and I see them judging me.

"Hello dear. What do you need?" She asks with another fake smile.  
"I need my time table and locker combo" I say  
"What's your name?" She asks.  
"Katniss Everdeen" I say with as much pride as I can, because their is nothing to be proud of. With that she gets up and I can see her name tag. It says "Effie Trinket". Odd name for an odd lady.

She returns a couple minutes later. She hands me my schedule and a sticky note with my combo and locker number with another annoying smile. "Here you go dear. Have a happy happy first day" she says and sits down in her chair again.

"Thanks" I say and quickly turn around and walk away.  
I turn my attention to my timetable. I have:

Period 1- Biology12  
Period 2- PE12  
Period 3- English 12  
Period 4- History 12

I don't bother to read the rest. I don't need to know until February when I actually have the rest of my classes. My Timetable is not that bad. PE will be a problem, because I will have to get changed. And I can't with all my scars, and cut marks which cover my body.

I look at the sticky note and I have to close my eyes and take another deep breathe. My locker is in the Careers hallway. The Careers are what we call the popular people. Their parents are famous or work for the school board. And they always have all their classes together and their lockers together. And my locker is in that hallway. They have bullied me all my high school life.

I gather my thoughts and head towards the hallways which is also the English hallway. I get to the rows of lockers and I look at the note to check the number. It reads A18379. I find the locker and unlock it. I start putting my bag in there when I hear foot steps.

I turn my head toward the foot steps and I see them. It's the Careers. The first Career is Glimmer Miles. Tall blonde skinny, every guys perfect dream girl. Next is Marvel Mayer, tall, also blonde. He is also Glimmers boyfriend. He is also the nicest of them all. Next is Clove Marbles she is tall has brown hair she's skinny and is glimmers best friend. Last is Cato. Tall blonde, and is quarterback on the football team, he is also dating Clove. Cato bullies me the most out of all of them. The sad thing about this is I used to be one of them. I was never physically like them. Tall, skinny, beautiful. I was nothing. My long dark hair and gray dull eyes don't fit in with them. I'm not fat, but I'm not skinny. Sure you can count my ribs but it's not the same type of skinny.

I snap out of my daydream when I hear Cato say "Look what it is, it's Loser Never clean" that's the nickname he gave me years ago. The bell rings telling us we have 5 minutes to get to class. I grab what I need and turn away heading to Biology.

I am almost through the biology lab door when I feel someone grab my wrist. I hiss in pain because they grabbed my wrists where my cuts are. I turn around and pull my hand away. And I look into the eyes of who it is grabed my wrist. It's Cato...

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**AN: Love to make cliffhangers. Please review!**


	2. Those Blue Eyes

**AN: Thank you for the people who reviewed last chapter and followed me and this story it means a lot.  
I listened to "say something" cover By Alex and Sierra and "unconditionally" by Katy Perry the whole time when I was writing this Chapter. Beta is ScribblinWriter. I'm sorry if it is boring. :( **

**It's 1,692 words.**

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**Chapter 2**

I feel like I'm frozen. I don't know what to do. All I do is stare at him. He pulls me away from the door of my classroom and pins me to the lockers. He moves one of his hands to cover my mouth and holds my arms above my head only using the other hand to hold them there.

He looks into my eyes and says "Someone got Slutty this summer."  
I'm still looking into his eyes, they seem to have turned some kind of gray colour. When I finally snap out of my state, and bite his hand. He pulls it away but he realizes what I am trying to do and snaps back immediately and trys to cover my mouth again. I turn my head away from him and scream as loud as I can! But no one comes.

Cato covers my mouth and pushes me against the lockers again.  
"You're going to pay for that, you worthless piece of trash."He says giving me an evil smile.

I can feel my body trying to fight off an anxiety attack. I close my eyes trying to remain calm, this can't happen right now. Then I suddenly feel Cato let go of my wrist and uncover my mouth.

I open my eyes fearfully and I find a blonde haired guy punching Cato to the ground. Again I'm frozen, I don't know what to do. Before I even realize what I'm doing I walk towards the guy who is beating up Cato and grab his arm to stop the next punch. This makes him turn his head to look at me. I finally get a chance to look at him. He has blonde hair and the most amazing blue eyes I have ever seen.

"It's not worth it" I say and breakdown. Anxiety fills my body, I feel my body shaking and my lungs are burning. I feel arms come around me and hold me. Fear racks my body but I see Cato still on the ground. I turn to look at the person who is holding me, it's the blue eyed guy. I relax Immediately into him. My back to his chest. My breathing calms down and I realize what just happened, I'm letting this complete stranger hold me. I try to get out of his arms but he holds me there.

I start to panic .  
"Relax I'm not going to hurt you" He says. I know I should relax but I can't even though I feel like I can trust him, but I'm not making that mistake of trusting anyone again.

I pull away from him and stand up, and pick up my stuff. The blue eyed boy helps me up and does not say a word. When I have all my books, I look into his beautiful blue eyes and I say "Thank you."

Then I turn away and head to biology, even though I will be late. I don't turn around at all. I know I should be thankful but I have learned not to trust anyone. Before I walk into the classroom I hear him say "I'm Peeta Mellark"

I pause and think about this. And I answer back "I'm Katniss Everdeen."Then I make my way into the classroom. If he knows my name he will learn soon to stay away from me.

* * *

I enter the classroom and go to the only 2 empty seats. A couple minutes later there is a knock at the down. The whole class turns and stares at the door. In walks Peeta. Him and the teacher talk and then our teacher Ms. Smith (but she tells us to call her Seeder), drags him to the front of the class room. Our eyes meet, my gray ones looking into his beautiful blue ones. I turn my head to break our eye contact.

"Attention class, we have a new student who has moved all the way from District 11. Make him feel welcome. Peeta share something about yourself with the class." She says and he pauses for a moment.  
"Well I like to paint, and my family owns the Mellark Bakery" Peeta says and he blushes but recovers fast.

"That's lovely. How about you take a sit right there" Seeder says pointing towards a seat. Then I realize she is pointing to the empty seat beside me. He walks forward and takes a seat beside me giving me a crisp white smile. This is going to be a long year.

* * *

Biology flys by slowly, maybe it's because I'm too busy trying to figure out why did this boy help a broken girl like me, it doesn't make sense.  
The bell rings and I gather up my stuff as best I can because I'm still shaken from this morning. I'm about to get up and leave when I feel someone grab my wrist, and it so happens to be the one with cuts. Why must everyone grab that one. I ask myself.  
This time I don't hiss in pain, I'm too numb to feel anything right now.

I turn around hoping it's not any of the Careers or Cato coming back to finish the job. But it's neither of them, It's Peeta. I look into his eyes and I melt inside, why does he have this affect on me? No one should.

"Yes?" I ask with my tone sounding a little annoyed .  
"I'm wondering if you could help me find the gym?" He asks and gives me a shy smile. Darn that smile. "Sure.." I say stuttering. I do owe him for helping me earlier, so this will make us almost even.

We walk though the hallways of the school towards the school gym in silence. As we are about to get there peeta breaks the silence "Thanks , I hope you are ok about what happened this morning." I just nod and turn around and head towards the girls change room.

* * *

I walk into the gym wearing my purple long sleeve shirt and black yoga pants. I walk to the center of the gym where the other seniors are. They are gathered around what I'm guessing is my teacher.  
I get over their and I am greeted by Peeta with a smile. I pull at my sleeves. I stand there not saying a word until our teacher tells us to sit down. Our teacher Mr. Abernathy, who later we learn likes to be called by his real name which is Haymitch, smells like alcohol. He calls out all our names and tells us to find a partner, I start to panic ,I never have a partner.  
I close my eyes and take deep breathes. When I'm almost totally relaxed I hear a voice, it says "Want to be partners?".  
I freeze, I know that voice. My mind flashes to the amazing blue eyes that are permanently burned into my brain. It's Peeta.  
I open my eyes and turn around and face him, and ask "Why would you want to do that?"

"Why not, you seem cool, and you are the only one without one."He says shyly.  
"Ok.." I say and me and him walk towards the line.  
We play rounds of badminton and then Hatmitch calls me over to speak with him. I walk towards him and I pull my sleeves down some more.

I stand beside him and before I can ask what he wants he decides to speak first. "Sweetheart aren't you hot in that thing?" He asks pointing to my long sleeve shirt.  
"I'm not hot, I'm actually cold" I say quickly, but the truth is I'm sweating. But I have no choice, I can't take this off.  
"This is PE, you have to get fully changed. It doesn't matter if your cold, you must get changed." He says.  
"I understand. I will try to tomorrow" I say. I never promise to, I just said I would try.  
"Good, now sweetheart get back to Lover boy over there" He says and turns away and starts pointing out the mistakes in other peoples games. I start to walk away when his words repeat in my head. I let him call me sweetheart, and he called Peeta loverboy. Why the heck would he do that? I guess he knows what Peeta's like already.  
Probably one of the Careers. I feel jealousness in my body, why Am I feeling like this? I ask myself. I can't like people, why do I care who he likes? Anyways it does not matter, before the end of the school week he'll join the Careers and will start to bully me too.  
"Katniss, are you ok?" The words break me from my thoughts. I look at the face where the sounds came from, it's Peeta again.

I look at him ."Yeah I'm fine," I say "Lets keep playing" but the ugly truth is I'm not fine. The truant bell goes off and we all run to the locker rooms to go and get changed.

* * *

The rest of the day flies by fast. I don't see Peeta or the Careers all day. I walk to my locker and open it then Grabbing what I need I close it. I walk down the stairs to the front door and take a deep breath. To afraid of what might be waiting for me when I get home...

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**AN: Please R&R. I hope it was not to boring. I had to put some Everlark in this. I hope you guys liked it.**


	3. Trouble at home and Gray Eyes

**AN:/ Their is selfharm in this chapter so prepared. This starts as Katniss point of view but it changes to Peetas later on. It is his version of his school day and the fight. Hope you enjoy. Please review. This is 1,995 words**

**Beta review by ScribblinWriter. Go check her out!**

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**Chapter 3**

I walk down the street towards my house. I cross streets without look like I did this morning. When I get to my house, I stand infront of it and I look up, and I just stare at it. My house is blue, with a rose garden at the front. My moms parents bought this house years ago. When they died my mom got it. So I have lived here 17 almost 18 years.

I walk up the porch stairs, and I reach for the door and take a deep breath. I open the door to find my mom and Prim sitting at the table chatting about something. I don't bother saying anything to them, they don't care about me anyway. I climb up the stairs then walk down the long hallway towards my room. I open the door and I immediately begin relax. My muscles relax and my jaw unclenches.

My room is the only place in the world where I feel safe. I grab an empty cup off my desk and walk into the private bathroom. I open the drawer and grab my antidepressants. I run the tap water and fill the cup up with the tap water. I pop a pill out of it's case and place it in my hand. I start to wonder what might happen if I take a few more.. I decide against it, and I only take the prescription one pill. I walk back into my room and place the empty cup back on my desk.

My room is simple. My walls are a light purple that go with the bed. Nothing hangs on my walls. I have a small bookshelf by my wooden desk with only a few books.  
I sit on my bed and pick up my bag from where I dropped it. I take out my homework and I work on it. It doesn't matter whether I do it or not, I will never be perfect like Prim. After a couple minutes I start to feel a little sleepy, and I fall into a world of darkness.

* * *

I am woken up to hear yelling. I sit up in my bed and listen to the shouts. All I hear is my mom yelling, so I'm guessing she is on the phone with my birth dad. This happens at least twice a month. I fall back into my bed and just lay here staring at the ceiling. I close my eyes again and take a deep breathe. When I fall back asleep all I dream of is beautiful blue eyes.

* * *

I hear someone calling my name, and my eyes snap open as I sit up. It's my mom.  
"Katniss get your lazy butt out of bed now!" She yells.  
I get out of bed and walk out of my room to go downstairs. I see her siting at the table with my stepdad and Prim, eating dinner already. I go to my chair and sit down. I play with my food most of the time, I'm never really hungry.  
We eat in silence until Prim breaks it, by saying.

"Katniss you don't eat much, that's why your so skinny."

I don't say anything back. Truth is I'm not trying to be skinny, I'm just not hungry. I continue to play with my food the rest of dinner. After a couple more bites I give up so I stand up and grab my plate. I start to bring it to the kitchen when my mom stops me by stepping in front of me.

"Katniss you are such a waste, you need to eat all of it." She yells.  
"Mom I can't" I say. I begin to walk away again, but this time she grabs a hold of my wrists. Again it's the same one I cut.  
"You will eat it, we spend a lot of money to feed you. You ungrateful child." She yells in my face.

I pull my wrist away from her, put my plate in the sink and run up the stairs ,go into my room grabbing the chair and propping it against the door so she can't come in here. I lay down on my bed and their is one thing that pops into my head..  
I need ...cut.. Badly.**(*Warning* Selfharm)**

I sit up in my bed and lift up my pillow and I take out one of my blades. I head into my bathroom and I roll up my sleeve and I take my blades and I begin to slice up my arm.  
1 cut is for mom.  
1 cut for what Cato did.  
1 cut for those blue eyes.  
2 cuts for not being loved by my dad and Prim.  
When I'm done I run water over my arm then I walk into my room and crawl into bed, and cry myself into the darkness.

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**Peeta's POV "First day of school"**

It's my first day in my new school and I'm so nervous. I spring out of bed and start to get ready for school. I get changed into a plain black shirt and some jeans. I run down the stairs into the bakery, where my mom and dad already are. I walk up to them.

"Good morning" I say with a smile.  
My mom returns the smile and says. "Good morning. Excited I see."  
"I am, mostly nervous though" I say.  
"It'll be ok Peeta." She says and hands me what I'm guessing is my breakfast. "Go eat up". I go into the bakery and I sit down at the island and I eat.

* * *

When I finish I grab my shoes and head out the front door of the bakery, but I turn around and wave good bye to my mom and dad. They tell me to have a good day.

I walk down the street, it's about a good 10 minute walk to school before I'm standing on school grounds. I walk into the school and head to the office. I walk up to the office window to see a lady with bright Orange hair siting there. I look for her name tag to find her name. When I find it, it reads "Effie Trinket". She sees me and smiles.

"What can I do for you?" She asks politely.  
"Im new hereand I need my locker and combo." I say returning her smile from earlier.  
"Ok then. What's your name?" She asks me.  
"Peeta Mellark" I say surely.  
"Ok, give me a minute" She says and turns gets up and scurries to the back.

I stand there waiting for her to return and look around. I see the quand , I see a dark brown haired girl walking towards the stairs.  
I am snapped out of my thoughts when I hear Ms. Trinket walking back. I turn to face her and she hands me a piece of paper with a sticky note.

"Make sure to go to the office around the Corner, I have a student waiting for you there to show you around." She says and sits down in her chair.  
"Thank you" I say. Then I turn the Corner and I see a short girl with red hair, and green eyes standing there.

I walk towards her and she spots me and asks "Are you Peeta?"  
"Yeah, I am" I say nervously.  
"Well I'm Annie, welcome to Panma High" she says with a cheerful smile, then asks  
"Where are you from Peeta?".  
"District 11" I say.  
"That's cool, well come one let me show you around." She says and pulls me with her and she gives me a tour.

She gave me a tour of the school. During the tour we asked each other questions. She is from District 4, but moved here 3 years ago. She is on the swim team. We walk beside each other and she shows me my locker, it is in the English hallway. Which Annie calls The Careers hallway. I did not question her about it because she flinched when she said it. She shows me how to open the lock and then lets me a try. I get it open on the first try. Then she shows me how the timetable works.

* * *

My mind starts thinking about the dark haired girl.  
"Annie do you know a girl with long brown hair and it's in a braid?" I asks, god this sounds stalkerish  
Annie gives me a questioning look and answers "Your thinking of Katniss"  
Katniss.. Her name echoes in my head.  
"Peeta you don't want to get involved with her" Annie says with a serious tone.  
"Why?" I ask  
"She is a BIG target, if you get involved with her, they will make your life a living Hell." Annie says.  
I don't understand this.  
"What do you mean?" I ask  
Then she says  
"Just stay away from her. I got to go Peeta, bye " with that she walks away.

I turn back to my locker and grab my timetable and I see that I have Biology first. I close my locker and head down the stairs, I check the numbers on each door then I hear a terror filled scream. I turn my head to face the general direction scream came from, I see the same dark haired girl pinned to the lockers by some blond guy

I run over there and rip the guy off of her and I punch him hard in the jaw. He falls to the ground and I continue to punch him.  
Then I feel this hand grab me and pull me off. I am turn to face who it was. It was Katniss Everdeen. She has the most amazing eyes, they are a amazing shade of gray. I look into her eyes and I see that their is not spark.

She whispers "it's not worth it."  
Then she breaks down crying. I immediately put my arms around her while she cries. She starts to pull away after a few minutes.  
So I whisper "Relax I'm not going to hurt you"

But she still fights to get out of my arms. When she does, she pulls herself to her feet and starts to pick her books up. I get up and help her. I hand her, her books and she turns and starts to walk away. She is about to walk though the doorway of what I'm guessing is her class room.

When I say "I'm Peeta Mellark"  
She freezes and stands there for a moment and then answers with "I'm Katniss Everdeen" and she walks through the doorway.

Katniss Everdeen, I smile. Annie was right. I stand there a few minutes, just thinking about those eyes. After awhile I realize I have to get to class still. I look down at my timetable and realize I have to go into the same classroom as Katniss just walked into.  
I smile and walk into the room. I see Katniss and she is sitting alone. This will be a great year, I know it. I just need to get to know that girl.

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**An:Thank you for reading, and please review. More reviews the more it pushes me to update this story. I hope you guys love it. I wanted to throw in some of Peetas thoughts on how he feels about Katniss. Also check out my Instagram account for this story. User is brokenbeyondrepair2013 I will post sneak peeks and other things to do with this story.**


	4. Partners?

**An:/I hope you guys enjoyed this. I think it's really sweet at the end. It's all Katniss POV. R&R faster you guys review the faster I will update. **

**It's 1,405 words without AN**

******Beta review by ScribblinWriter. Go check her out!**

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**Chapter 4**

I wake up to the sound of my alarm clock going off. I groan and roll over to shut it off. I throw the covers off of me and I walk into my bathroom.

I turn to face the broken girl in the mirror and her irritated red eyes stare back at me. I take in my image. My long brown hair is still hanging over my shoulder in my braid from yesterday and my clothes hang loosely off of me. I roll up my sleeve and I look at my cuts from yesterday. They remind me how worthless I truly am. Who would love a girl who herself cuts? No one, is the correct answer.

My arm is covered in dark red marks and dried blood. I put my arm into the sink and run water over it to clean them up. The cold water hits my skin and pain rushes up my arm I hiss in pain.

When I finish I get gauze from my cabinet and wrap my arm up and I pin it to hold it wrapped. I brush my teeth and throw on another long sleeve shirt and some jeans.  
I grab the empty cup off my desk and fill it up with water, I take the prescribed amount of antidepressants. I brush my hair and then quickly rebraid it. I grab my heavy bag off the floor and I walk to the door.

I remove the chair and place it back at my desk. I walk down the hallway go down the stairs, I don't bother saying good bye to anyone, or to have breakfast. I don't need it, and they don't care.

* * *

When I get to school I feel very overwhelmed almost immediately. Another long day at Panema high, I walk into biology and I notice Peeta is already sitting there. He notices me and gives me a happy smile. I walk towards him and sit down in my seat.  
I drop my bag on the ground besides me and turn my (little amount of ), attention to our teacher. She goes on about something, but I don't know what she's talking about because I have not been listening to her at all.  
I have been thinking about how to repay Peeta for helping me out yesterday.  
I snap out of my thoughts when I hear someone calling my name. I turn my attention to the general direction of the person who called me, it was Peeta.

"Hi" he says.  
"Hi?" I say.  
"Ms Smilth said we have to get partners for the project. You want to be partners?" He asks and he rubs his forehead with his hand.  
"Uh sure." I say.  
He moves his chair closer to me and I gulp.  
"So my house or yours?" He asks.  
Definitely not mine.  
"Yours" I say.  
"Ok, how about we meet there for lunch?" He asks and continues with, " We can get started and we talk about it." Then he smiles. God that smile.  
"Ok" I say.

As the bell rings and we bid each other good bye and I walk to my locker. I have Pe next, lovely. I shut my locker and I start to walk down the stairs and I hear someone say  
"Slut" I shiver knowing they are talking about me. Then feel a sudden shove and am suddenly pushed and everything goes dark.

* * *

I wake up and I look around the room. A small woman walks in and gives me a gentle smile.  
"Looks who's awake." She says and then continues.  
"You sure had a nasty fall. What do you remember?" She asks me.  
"I don't remember much. I was walking down the stairs and then I tripped down them." I lie. Truthfully I remember everything perfectly. I'm more worried that she or someone else saw my arm. The fact that my sleeve is down shows me chances isthat she has not seen them.  
"Well dear you are free to go. Your going to have a headache from the small bump on your head. Otherwise you will be fine." She says and asks me to fill a sheet out explaining what happened.

I get off of the bed and she hands me a piece of paper, telling me to go to PE and hand this to my teacher, telling him why I am late and saying I should sit out.  
I walk out of the nurses office holding my bag and piece of paper. Well I don't need to change now. I think pleasantly. I open the door of the gym and I see my class and Peeta is playing badminton again. I walk towards Haymitch and I hand him my note.

He takes the note and reads it then says. "Take a seat sweetheart."  
I turn away from him and I feel someone's eyes on me. I sit on the bench and just watch my class play.

* * *

When class ends Peeta comes running up to me.

"Hey, Where do you want to meet for lunch?" He asks

"The library" I answer. I have been going to the library during lunch all of my high school life basically.

"That's cool. See you in a little bit!" He says with a smile and walks away.

Well this is going to be a long lunch period.

I get to my locker and throw what I don't need in there and I go to the library to meet Peeta. I open the doors to the library and I start to have many butterfly's in my stomach.

No Katniss, you can't have those kinds of emotions. You only get hurt, I tell myself. I walk into the center of the library and look around for Peeta. I don't see him...  
Maybe he is just late, I think to myself. I go to an empty table and sit in the chair and I wait.

* * *

After awhile I realize he stood me up. I grab my bags and I'm about to leave when I hear my name. I turn around and I see him.  
"Hi I'm sorry I'm late. I could not find the library." He says and gives me a sad smile. He smiles way to much.  
"It's fine. Let's get started." I say and turn my attention to the project. We talk and we decide what our project should be on about and then we talk about what days we should work on it.  
"Well I can't work on it on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays because I work at the bakery after school. On Thursdays and Fridays after school I'm free and I always work really early on weekends, so I have the rest of the day to myself. How about you?" He says.  
"I'm always free. So Thursdays and Fridays after school we can together and go to your place." I say  
"Ok" he says and pulls out a sandwich.

I just sit there and watch. He is about to take a huge bite when he asks "Aren't you going to eat?"  
"I forgot to bring a lunch" I say. But, the truth is I never bring a lunch.  
"Well here have half" he says and makes his sandwich into 2 and hands me one half.  
"I can't accept this" I say.  
"It's just a sandwich." He says.  
It's more then that. He is the only one that has been kind to me in a long time, and seems like he genuinely cares.  
"Ok, thank you" I say, and he hands me one half.  
"Your welcome" he says.  
My stomach growls, and I realize the last time I ate was at dinner last night and it was not much.

I take a bite of the sandwich and it's amazing. I eat the rest of the sandwich really fast. He finishes his lunch and we start working on the project for awhile. We work on it for a few minutes until Peeta breaks the silence.

"Why weren't you playing in PE today?" He asks.  
I pull at my sleeve not looking into his eyes.  
"I felt down the stairs after biology and I was not allowed to play." I answer.  
"Are you ok?" He asks and his eyes showing concern.  
"I'm fine" I say, which is a lie. I'm never fine.  
The bell rings and we go to our next class. What is Peeta Mellark doing to me?

* * *

**An:/ I thought it was really cute. How about you guys? I hope you all loved it. Review and i will try to update faster. Thanks too ReineDesCoeurs, Jade R. Manning, xoayeitskimmy99ox, TheDauntlessMellark and XCadenceEverdeenX for reviewing.**


	5. Rain

**An:/ Sorry that this chapter toke so long. I know it's really short, but I wanted to get something up because I have been busy with school and other things. Next week will be worse. I don't know if I will update. I shall try though. ****Hope you all love it.**

**Words: 1,257**

**Beta by: ScribblinWriter.**

**Make sure to check out my Instagram account for this story. The user is _BrokenBeyondRepair2013_.**

**I was listening to Burn by Ellie Goulding well writing this chapter. **

* * *

**Chapter 5**

After leaving the library, I head to my next class. I climb the stairs and go down the Career Hallway towards my locker. I pull my sleeves down a little bit more and open my locker. I grab my books when my locker is suddenly slammed shut. I turn my head to face who slammed it. It was Clove. She stands with Glimmer their arms are locked, they give me sinister evil smile.

"Well look who it is Glimmer. It's miss Never Clean.", Clove says. I don't react to them. I'm used to this. Glimmer smacks her mouth and looks at me.

"Well it's quiet. Worthless girl." Glimmer says and laughs in harmony with Clove.

"That's right Glimmer. Who needs her? She's nothing" Clove says. I flinch because that felt like a slap across my face.  
"What? Katpiss can't talk? The poor, little, useless thing" Glimmer says with a smirk.  
"Glimmer how about we show her how truly worthless she is" Clove says and grabs my wrist and pins me to my locker, just like Cato did yesterday.  
I try to get out of her grip but she holds me there firmly. I try to wiggle out of her grip for a couple more minutes until Cato appears in my vision.

"Well, well, well what do we got here?" He says with a smirk on his face.  
I remain silent scared that if I talk I will cry and show weakness.

"Silent are we. You must be punished. Lover boy can't save you this time" he says. Lover boy? That's the same name Haymitch called him yesterday. Is Cato refereeing to Peeta?

Cato lifts his fist and it slams into my ribs. I drop to the ground and they all go to town on me. I feel kicks over and over again, only directed at my ribs. I start to cry, who cares about showing weakness anymore. I'm dead.

* * *

After the beating I walk to the closest bathrooms and I sit in the last stall and I cry for hours without end. When the last bell of the day goes I pick up my stuff and I exit the stall. I look into the mirror. I see a broken messed up girl. I lift my shirt up to look at my ribs. Purple and black bruises are the only things I see. I place my arm on my ribs gently and It does not feel like anything is broken.

I pull my shirt down. I also pull my sleeves down and I exit the bathroom. I don't bother going to my locker. I just head out the front door. I walk though the door into the heavy rain. The pain in my ribs make it hard to walk, so I limp a lot. I'm almost halfway there when I hear a car and then someone call my name...

Wait I know that voice, I turn and I see ...him. He is getting out of his truck and walking towards me.  
"Katniss why are you walking in the rain?" He asks.  
Really Peeta?Not everyone can afford a car, really stupid question I think to myself.  
"I don't have a car..." I say trying to be as nice has I can.  
"C'mon Katniss I will give you a ride home" he says.  
"No it's fine. I can walk home" I say and I try to walk away but he grabs my wrists.  
"Please Katniss I don't want you to get sick."He begs and I look up into his blue pleading eyes.  
"Fine." I say and I walk with him, getting into the truck.

I give him directions to my house as he drives.  
"So why were you limping?" He asks.  
I freeze. I don't know what to do.. I want to tell him but I don't think he should know..  
"It was Cato..." I say quietly looking at my hands in my lap.  
"What?!" Peeta asks, with firery anger coming into his eyes.  
I remain silent just staring at my hands.  
"Look at me Katniss. What did he do?" He asks, and I refuse to look at him.  
He pulls us over and stops the truck and lifts my head up with his hand making me stare into his blue eyes.  
"Please Katniss?" he asks.

I shake my head fighting off the anxiety filling my body.  
I can't break. I can't break. I can't break. I repeat in my head over and over trying to calm down. My chest begins to hurt.

"Katniss are you ok?" He asks with a severely concerned tone. I shake my head feeling the malicious fire in my lungs burning me alive.  
"I'm fine..."I lie.  
"You are not fine. Talk to me please Katniss" He begs me  
" I can't..." I'm getting shaky, I can't break, C'mon Katniss you are better then this. You can't let anyone see you break! I coach myself.

He wraps his arms around me and holds me there. I try to fight off his arms but they are just too strong, I just give up and I melt into Peeta. I breathe in his lovely smell, he leaves like sugar and fresh bread.

When I catch my breath Peeta unwraps his arms from my neck and looks at me fondly.  
"Better?" He asks me and I nod.  
What am I doing. I can't be around him! He is breaking me and making me weak.  
"I need to go" I say with a shakey voice and I open the door and jump out.  
"Katniss!" He calls.  
I look at him and he says, "If you ever need something you can always come to me"

I run not looking behind me as I run with my ribs. I have to get home before my mom gets mad. I reach my house in record time and I open the door and walk into the house. I take off my shoes and I run up stairs before my mom or Prim appears.

I walk into my room and I walk into my bathroom and I break down and cry. What is he doing to me? Is my last thought and I fall into darkness.

* * *

I wake up and I notice I'm lying on the bathroom floor and I stand up and I look into the mirror. All I see is ugly.  
I see a broken girl with red puffy eyes, her clothes still hand off of her. I exit my bathroom and lie in my bed and I cry some more.

* * *

When I wake up i roll over and I look at my alarm clock. Its 5:47 in the morning. I missed dinner, oh well. I don't deserve it anyways. I roll over again face first into my pillows fall asleep again.

* * *

**An: Make sure to review. Hope you guys liked it.**


	6. Too much info

**AN: Sorry this toke so long to post. I wrote most of it on Monday or Wednesday but it was only 600 words back then, so I had to wait awhile and find some time to write to make it longer. Here it is. Please R&R.**

**Words:1,258**

**Beta by: ScribblinWriter.**

**Make sure to check out my Instagram account for this story. The user is _BrokenBeyondRepair2013_.**

**I was listening to Say Something cover by Alex and Sierra.**

* * *

Chapter 6

I am sitting in history bored out of my mind. My stomach has been growling since I woke up. I did not eat dinner last night and I did not have anything this morning because I was avoiding my parents. I doodle on my piece of paper not listening to my teacher. I notice I'm not only drawing, but I'm writing. I am writing words. I realize all the words are what I am.

_Broken  
Worthless  
Uncared for  
Useless  
Slut  
Ugly  
Unwanted  
Trash  
Dirty  
Whore_

The list goes on. It's every true, every single one of them. I am all of them.

The bell rings and I grab my things and I walk out of the classroom and I go to English. This is gonna be intersecting.

* * *

Our teacher gives us a topic to write about. The choice is cupcakes, pain, a dream, or animal. Which are the weirdest topics ever. It can be a poem or a story. Lovely. It's due next week. That gives me time to try and figure it out so I don't fail.

I walk into the library to meet with peeta. I sit at the same table we did yesterday. I start shaking because I'm not sure how to act because of what happened yesterday. He knows about Cato, he is getting to close to the truth. He will not break me.  
Everyone breaks you Katniss. Never let anyone in. I say to myself.

I'm snapped out of my thoughts when I spot Peeta heading towards me.  
"Hi" I say with a tiny smile.  
"Hi" he says back. He sits down and we get to work on the project.

We take notes and we sign out some books. Peeta eats his lunch and I just watch him. He tries to give me some but I lie and I tell him I had a big breakfast. I have one arm draped over my stomach applying pressure trying to stop it from growling. I own him to much. I won't take any more.  
The bell rings and we say bye. But when I stand up I am over come with dizziness and I hear Peeta calls my name, but all see is darkness and I fall.

* * *

I open my eyes and I am in a bright white room. I blink a couple times and trying to take in my surroundings. I'm in my bedroom with many doors. Everything that was in my room before is now just gone. I spin around the room glancing at the many doors. Each door is a different colour. There is a black, red, yellow, green and blue door. My body pulls me towards the door. My mind does not think about it as I walk towards the blue door and my hand reaches out and I turn the knob.

I open the door and I see a blue like mirror. I put my hand out into it and it feels like water. I take a step forward and I am pulled into the mirrior. I feel like I'm Alice falling down the rabbit hole. My body being pulled and pushed and thrown everywhere.

When it stops I'm standing in my dinning room. This room is different then the one I was just in, but it seems familiar. I turn around and immediately understand why it's different. I pick the picture up and I look at it. It's my birth dad and my mom. My mom is dress in a blue prom dress and both of them are happy.  
"Katniss come here sweetie!" Yells a voice. I turn my attention to where the voice came from. I see my mom. Her blonde hair flows down her back in waves.

A little girl walks into the kitchen. I soon realize that little girl is me. She skips around the kitchen then goes to my mom and pulls at her skirt.  
"Mommy mommy. When is Daddy going to be home?" The little version of me asks. This is when he was still around.  
"Oh sweetie. He will be home before dinner I promise." My mom says. I know it's a lie. I remember this day clearly. It's the day he left me with her..

"Okay mommy," says the younger version of me. Then she reaches up to grab a cookie and when she grabs it she walks away on her short chubby legs into the living room and continues to colours her picture.

I stand in the kitchen and I look around it's almost the same has it is now. I walk to where my mom is. She looks younger and less stressed.  
"Mom?" I say and she does not move. My mom turns and walks to the living room where the younger version of me is. I run after her and I stand infront of her but she just simply walks though me. What?...

I don't have time to think of why my mom can walk through me when my birth dad walks through the door. I draw in a sharp breath.  
"Daddy Daddy," the younger version of me screams, then she runs over to him. He picks her up and swings her around and her giggles fill the air. If only it was like that now.

This image is soon twisted when darkness fills the air and everyone starts to screaming. I blink, I am now standing outside of the house with my parents in the house, emotionless looks on their faces and I'm standing outside in the rain. Beside my parents is Peeta. Peeta left me, one of the few people I have felt like I can trust as betrayed me. I feel an anxiety attack coming on.

"Katniss, wake up" I hear. "It's ok Katniss. Please wake up" the voice cries.  
I blink but this time when I open my eyes I am looking into Peetas blue eyes. It's quiet for a minute, I'm lost in his eyes. They are full of concern. Why was he concerned?  
The same nurse from yesterday walks in and smiles at me.  
"Long time no see. You sure are making a habit of this," She says trying to joke, but I don't smile.

"Your blood sugar was really low. You need to eat dear. Go grab something to eat and head to class," she says. "Make sure she eats something," she says pointing to peeta, he nods.

I get off the bed slowly and I pick up my bag that lies on the ground. I exit the office and peeta runs after me.

"You told me you weren't hungry," he says. I don't say anything.  
"C'mon Katniss talk to me,"he begs. I just keep on walking.  
He grabs my arms and pulls me so I'm facing him. "Please?" He begs.

Gosh this boy will be the death of me.  
I say hi and we walk to the lunch room and we eat.

After a while he asks, "The nurse says you may have an eating disorder?. Your blood sugar was really low and the fact that she can see your bones, I believe her." He says looking into my eyes.  
I laugh "I don't have a eating disorder Peeta. Try again," I say. I slap my hand over my mouth... Oops, I slipped up and told him too much.  
"Katniss what do you mean by "'Try again?.'" He asks.  
Crap...

* * *

**An: Please review it means the world. It lets me know that you guys like this story. I will hopefully be able to update sooner this week. Also check out the Instagram account for this story. I post sneak peaks or little hints, etc. User is at the top of this chapter and in bio. :) **


	7. Love me

**An: oh my gosh, I'm so sorry this took forever to get up. I told a few of you it will be up Monday but it never was. I'm so sorry. I love you guys, sorry for disappointing you. R&R please.**

**This chapter starts as Katniss POV, but changes. This chapter is a emotional roller.**

****Trigger warning****

**The song in this is "Love me" by Katy Perry, it was fitting for this chapter.**

**Words: 1,435**

**Edited by xoayeitskimmy99ox**

**Thank you too xoayeitskimmy99ox, ReineDesCoeurs, mockingjay28, may96, Guest, and Jade R. Manning for reviewing. From chapter 4-6 thank you so much. And thank you to those of you that have favorite and followed this story. **

* * *

**Chapter 7**

Crap. I freeze.  
Did I just say that. No no no, this can't be happening.  
I turn my head and I look at Peeta. He gives me a questioning look. "Katniss what's wrong?," He asks me.

I turn my head away from him refusing to look at him. This can't be happening. He can't know anything, I can never let anyone in again.

"C'mon Katniss not this again. Please talk to me, you can tell me anything. I won't judge you," he begs. I still don't look at him. I stand up to leave but he grabs my bad wrist and pulls me back down beside him. "Please Katniss," he begs with me again.

"No," I simply say. I pulls my wrists away from him trying to not flinch or hiss in pain because of the cuts. I stand up and I run down the hallways of the school to the only class I have ever felt safe in.

The Music room.

I reach for the door handle and I turn it and I walk into the big empty space and I walk towards the piano, I sit down. I search in my head trying to fingers out the best song that describes how I feel. I decide the song and I place my fingers on the right keys and I start to sing.

_I lost myself in fear of losing you  
I wish I didn't do  
But I did  
I lost my own, my own identity  
Forgot that you picked me for me_

_But now, I don't negotiate with insecurities  
They always seem to get the best of me  
I found I had to love myself, the way I wanted you to..._

_...love me,  
No more second guessing  
No, there's no more questioning  
I'll be the one defining who I'm gonna be  
No concealing feelings, or changing seasonally  
I'm gonna love myself, the way I want you to love me_

_Sometimes I wish my skin was a costume  
That I could just unzip  
And strip  
But who I am is who I'm meant to be  
And it's who you are in love, in love with_

_So now, I don't negotiate with insecurities  
They're gonna have to take a back seat  
I know I have to love myself, the way I want you to..._

_...love me,  
No more second guessing  
No, there's no more questioning  
I'll be the one defining who I'm gonna be  
No concealing feelings, or changing seasonally  
I'm gonna love myself, the way I want you to love me_

_No more standing in my own way  
Let's go deeper, let's get closer  
No more standing in my own way  
(I want you to love me)_

_No more standing in my own way  
Let's go deeper, let's get closer  
No more standing in my own way  
(I want you to love me)_

_No more second guessing  
No, there's no more questioning  
I'll be the one defining who I'm gonna be  
No concealing my feelings, or changing seasonally  
I'm gonna love myself, the way I want you to love me_

_No more second guessing  
No, there's no more questioning  
I'll be the one defining who I'm gonna be  
No concealing feelings, or changing seasonally  
I'm gonna love myself, the way I want you to love me_

I wish I could be the person in this song, but I'm not and I know I never will be strong or loved.  
"You have a wonderful voice you know". I turn my head to where the voice came from. A dark figure appears from the shadows and it's Cinna my old music teacher.  
"Thanks," I say.  
"You know I can have your classes switched so you can have music this semester so you don't have to sneak into here to play," he says. I jump off the piano stool and I run towards him and I give him a big hug. Music is one of the few things now a days that makes me feel better about myself.  
"Thank you so much Cinna," I say.  
"Your welcome," he says and he returns the hug.

"Now how about we go get it changed now?" He asks. I nod and we walk down to the the office and to gets it changed, and I actually smile a real smile.

* * *

Me and Cinna exit the office with me smiling. I forget about the world and all my worries. My history 12 class was switched with music.

So my time table now reads.

_Period 1- Biology12  
Period 2- PE12  
Period 3- English 12  
Period 4- Music_

I thank Cinna again then the final bell rings I realize I have missed all of 3rd and 4th period. My parents are going to freak. My happiness fades immediately And I say bye to cinna and I run home.

* * *

I reach my house and I take a deep breath trying to relax. Maybe they did not phone my parents telling them, that I have not been in class.  
I turn the handle and I open the door. I step inside and I get a bad feeling.

"Katniss darling come here," my mom calls. Oh no.  
I walk to the kitchen where she called from, "Yes..?" I ask.  
I am slapped as soon as I walk into the kitchen, "You worthless piece of trash. How hard can school be. You go to school and you only have 4 classes it's not that hard. It shows how stupid you are miss your classes and not thinking I won't know. You are mistake, why can't you just be like Prim. She is perfect. She goes to class and has good grades, then their is you who barley passes anything," my mom yells in my face.

This breaks me.. I'm truly useless, I don't deserve to be here. I shouldn't be here. I should be dead. I run up the stairs and I hear my mom calling me to come back, but I don't bother turning around, I keep running. I get to my room and I walk to my pillow and grab my blades. I will end this. I walk into my bathroom and I shut the door. I take my blades and I stab it into my arm drawing a lot of blood. Cutting vertical up my arm, multiple times. I am soon taken up my dizziness and I fall hitting my head.

* * *

**Prims POV**

My mom was yelling at Katniss again. After Katniss runs up stairs I follow her 5 minutes later. I head up the stairs and I walk into her room. I have not been in her room for years. The last time I was in her room was when I had a nightmare. Everytime I would have nightmares I would go into her room and I would sleep with her. That was back when we were close.

I turn the handle and I open the door. The room looks the same as it was years ago. I notice that her pillows lies on the ground. "Katniss?" I say. Then I notice the bathroom is closed. I walk towards it and I knock.  
"Hey Katniss, it's Prim. I'm sorry for what mom said. Are you ok?" I ask. But all I get is silence.  
"Katniss?" I ask again and I start to have a bad feeling about this. I grab the handle and I turn it and what I see makes me want to throw up.  
"Oh no," escapes my mouth. I see Katniss lying on the bathroom floor blood covering her left arm and the bathroom floor. I race towards her and I take her pulse. It's really faint.  
"Mom!" I yell as loud as I can.  
I take off my sweater and I try to stop the bleeding as best I can. I hear my mom coming up the stairs. I hear her walk into Katniss bedroom, and I yell, "call 911!"

"What's wrong?" She asks and then she steps into the bathroom and takes in a sharp breath and pulls out her phone and dials.

I take Katniss pulse again and it's barely beating. "C'mon Katniss keep breathing" I yell at her.

From their everything becomes blurry. Paramedics come up the stairs and take her pulse and horror crosses their face. They put Katniss on a stretcher and they carry her down the stairs. Then they load her into a ambulance, and they drive away. Me, my mom, and dad are left their in shook with what just happened.

Katniss just tried to committed suicide, and she may have just done it.

* * *

**An: please review it means the world. I wrote two versions of this chapter. one with Peeta being the one that walks in and the one with Cinna. The one with Cinna was better. hope you guys review. To make it up to you guys I will upload ch 8 tomorrow. Bai!**


	8. Hospitals and Music

**An: R&R. Hope you guys love it. Make sure to check out my instrgram account for this story. It's BrokenBeyondRepair2013.**

**Words: 1,696**

**Edited by xoayeitskimmy99ox**

* * *

Chapter 8

I hear voices around me, I feel like I'm floating, but all the feeling in my body is slowly returning and I hear voices talking.

"She should be waking up soon," says a voice which I don't recognize.

"When she wakes up what are we going to do with her?" Asks another voice.

"Her mother wants her out of the hospital, without proper treatment and an appointment with Dr. Aurelius. In my opinion I believe she needs it. Her mom says she has been on anti-depressants for years now, and by the look of her arms she has been cutting for years. She has bruises on her ribs, legs and arms. Something is going on," says a more feminine voice.

"Very true. But we are not aloud to do anything, with out the parent. She can't decide because she is not 18 yet," says an other voice.

"Is anyone coming to visit her when she wakes up?," asks a voice.

"No one. Her parents and sister have gone home. Their is no one here to sit with her when she wakes up," says the female voice. "Poor girl," the female voices adds. Then I feel a pair of soft warm hands grab my hand and holds it for a few seconds and gives it a squeeze then lets go.

Then I hear a beep, "I think she is waking up. Her heart rate is getting higher," says a voice.  
"C'mon dear, open your eyes. You can do it," says the female voice. With that I open my eyes but I quickly close them because my eyes are blinded by the light.

"Sorry sweetie. Try again, we turned most of the lights off for you," says the female voice again. I open my eyes again and I blink a couple times before my version is clear. There is 3 doctors standing in my door, who I am assuming are the voices I was hearing. All three smile at me and then turn to each other and whisper along each other. Then only female turns towards me and take a step forward.

"I'm Dr. Paylor, Katniss do you remember what happened?" She asks.  
With those words all the memories come flooding back. "Relax Katniss, you need to tell us what happened. We want to help you, but we can't if you don't answer our questions. Can you do this for us?" She asks, and I nod.

"Ok," She says and grabs a board and takes a seat in the chair beside my bed.

"What is the last thing you remember?" She asks again. I take a deep breathe and I look at her and I tell her what I did, but I never said why.

"How old are you Katniss?" She asks, still writing down my answer from the previous question. I say 17. She asks what my full name is, what is my favorite food, stuff like that. Then she starts asking the harder questions.

"When did you start cutting?" She asks.  
I turn away from her, and I take a deep breathe.  
"4 years," I say, and still not looking at her.  
"And you were 13 at the time, correct?" She asks.  
"Yes," I say and I sink down feeling embarrassed.  
She asks me more questions asking where I have cut and why I started. I don't answer them I just realm silent. I can't trust anyone again.

"Do you want me to call a friend for you?" She asks me, I shake my head. I don't have friend, who is she kidding. I'm alone, their is a reason I am like this. I am a miserable worthless girl, who is the biggest loner.

Then she speaks again, "Ok then. I'm sorry Katniss, for you to be going though this. You will be discharged tomorrow at noon. Your sister left you some stuff," she walks over to the corner of the room and picks up my phone and headphones. "I have a feeling you will want this," she says and hands them to me and I give her a nod and I say thank you.

I turn my phone on and it immediately goes off with text messages coming through. By the end of them all coming through their is a total of 20 messages.. Wow. I have never had that many..  
I go into messages and I look at them all. It's from a unknown number.

**Unknown: Hi Katniss, it's Peeta.  
Peeta: You are not in class today. What's up?  
Peeta: Hi?  
Peeta: I was wondering if we can meet up tomorrow after school and work on the project?  
Peeta:Katniss you there?  
Peeta: Katniss where are you? You have missed 2 days of school. Are you ok?**

I'm never ok. Wait two days?! I exit my text messages and I look at the calendar on my phone. It reads September 6. Oh my god. I have been asleep for 2 days.  
I quickly text a simple message back to Peeta.

* * *

**Peetas POV **Wednesday(the day after Katniss tried to commit suicide)****

I am siting in biology alone. Where is Katniss? Is she mad at me?  
Class begins and still no Katniss. Time has just stopped, everything is in slow motion. I pull out my phone and I send a quick text to Katniss using the number she gave me in the library a couple days ago.

**Me: Hi Katniss, it's Peeta.  
Me: You are not in class today. What's up?  
Me: Hi?  
Me: I was wondering if we can meet up tomorrow after school and work on the project?**

Then I wait for a reply, but it never comes. The bell rings and I pack up all my stuff and I exit the classroom. I walk down the coward hallway with people pushing and trying to get to class. I walk slowly down the stairs with everyone behind me. Who I finally get off the stairs I walk down the Art hallway, and I remember what happened here yesterday.  
Katniss ran away from me here yesterday and I ran after her but I could not find her. She had just disappeared. I walk into my music class and I see a girl with red hair sitting in the same seat as yesterday. I walk up behind her and I say, "BOO!" And Annie jumps, and turns around to face me holding a hand over where her heart would be.  
"Talk about trying to give me a heart attack much," she says.

Then we both start laughing, the bell rings telling us that class is starting and everyone finds their seat. Our teacher stands up from his desk and takes attendance. He calls our names and then he says one I have not heard him say, "Katniss Everdeen".

I freeze, she was in this class? I have never seen her in this class. I look around for her and I don't see her. Cinna, he wants us to call him by his first name. He sees me looking and then makes a mark on the sheet.  
He continues down the list and we start class.

* * *

He gives us a assignment, and tell us to come up with a cover so perform infront of the class on Friday next week. We have to work in a group of three, and everyone must be doing something, and for extra marks we use a instrument. When he announced it, I immediately turn to Annie and we both nod, telling each other that we will work together.

Me and Annie grab our chairs and pull our selves away from everyone.  
"Ok, sit down in your groups and I will check them all." Cinna says, and then waits for everyone to sit. Me and Annie are sitting down and I feel someone tap on my shoulder, I turn to face them and it's a blonde girl who tapped on my shoulder. She is cute, but not my type.

"Hi I'm Glimmer, do you want to be in my group," she says and points to the other girl who is sitting in a chair with dark down hair.  
"No thank you, sorry" I say, and I turn back to Annie. Glimmer turns around and a huff escapes her mouth and she storms off.

Annie is sitting there with her mouth open. "You ok?" I ask.  
"You do realize you turned down glimmer?"  
"Yeah, and?" I ask.  
"She is a career. Her talking to you makes you one of them."  
"Well I don't want to be one of them, I want to be partners with you." I say and Annie blushes.  
"Uh thanks. No one has ever wanted to be partnered with me," she says looking down at her lap playing with her hands.

Cinna calls attention and we all stop and look at him. "We are missing Ms. Everdeen today. So Annie and Peeta, since you too are a group of two, will you guys let Katniss be in your group," he asks.

"Sure," I smile. Then the bell goes.  
I hope Katniss answers my text soon.

* * *

**_***Days later**_**

I'm sitting in bed looking at my ceiling. Asking myself one question. Why has Katniss not shown up at school or answered my texts. I hope she is o-, I am cut off by the sound of my phone buzzing. I jump of my bed and run across the room and it pick up my phone. I unlock the screen, and I see it's from Katniss and I smile. She is ok.

**Katniss: yeah I'm ok, I should be back to school soon. Sorry.  
Peeta: it's ok. Me, you and Annie are working on a project for music. We could use you.  
Katniss: I will try to be there on Monday. I got to go. Bye.  
Peeta: ok by Katniss. Text me later telling me when we can work on the project.**

I put my phone down and I walk back over to my bed and I lie down again. She is ok.

* * *

**An: Review please. Hope you love it.**

******Guest- Here I added some Peeta in for you, I will try to have some more drama for him.**

**Thanks too ImperfectlyFlawless, ReineDesCoeurs**


	9. Projects

**An: I'm sorry for taking forever to update, I have was not feeling well and I had some writers block. Hope you all still love this story and review. I don't know if any of you like this story because reviews r low. To those of you who still like it enjoy. Make sure to read the AN at the bottom. R&R**

**Beta:****ScribblinWriter**

**Check out ig accout for this story _BrokenBeyondRepair2013_**

**Words:1,371**

* * *

Chapter 9

I pack up all my things and put on shoes. I am being discharged from the hospital today. I have not had any visits from anyone except my doctors. Part of me wishes I told Dr. Paylor about Peeta, and she would have him come over. But no, I am not letting him or the school find out about this, it stays between my parents, prim, and my doctors. But my doctor says we have to alert the teachers of what happened, so they can keep an eye on me. My doctors wished me good luck and gave me their contact numbers and said goodbye.

I picked up my stuff and exit the room. My left arm is bandaged up, covering all the cuts I have and the scars. I walk out of the hospital and I see my step dad's car siting at the curb waiting to pick me up, I knew my mom was not coming. I walk towards the car and I pull the handle. I open the door and I hop into the front seat. I say hi to him and I get no response we just drive home in complete silence.

When he stops the car on the driveway, I quickly I open the door and jump out. It was awkward the whole way getting here. I look up at the house and take a deep breath to try and calm my nerves. I run up the stairs and go to my room. I sit on my bed and I lie down staring at the celling for hours.

After a couple hours I hear a knock at the door,  
"Come in," I call. The the door opens and my mom walks in.  
"How are you doing?" She asks me.  
"I'm fine," another lie, she does not care and she knows it.  
"You have to do back to school on Monday. I have your new anti depressants. Your doctors suggested getting you stronger ones. You have to take one pill, three times a day. In the morning, after school, and before you go to bed," she says.  
"Ok. I need to work on a project with someone from school after school on Monday."I say.  
"That's fine."She says and with that she walks out of my room and I don't see anyone for the rest of the night.

It is now Monday, the weekend was uneventfull.  
I have not cut since "That day." However, I have gave myself many triggers. I saw my arm the other day. It made me sick. It was still flaming red, the many cuts I did before are now healed, but the ones from "that day" are still there. A few of them are going to scar, I know it. I have to keep it wrapped up until it heals completely.  
My mom and step dad still don't talk to me. Prim gives me tiny smiles but they don't last long. I'm guessing she has finally realized what a messed up freak I am.  
I get to my locker no problem and I dump all my things into my locker. I grab my biology textbook and I close my locker.  
Moving is hard still, the dark bruises on my ribs from Clove, Cato and Glimmer are still their but have faded, and are still sore.  
I get to biology and I take my seat. I wait for everyone to come.

I lie my head on my binders and close my eyes, not sleeping much last night is catching up on me. Then I feel someone shaking me and then I hear, "Hi Katniss. You need to wake up, class is going to start soon,"  
I slowly stretch and I look at Peeta, he smiles at me. "I'm glad your back," he says.  
I greet him and we talk about the project and what I missed. Turns out Peeta is in my music and we have to do a project.  
Class goes on with us working on the project. Everytime I look at him I can't help but get lost in his eyes.

* * *

Peeta and I walk to music together. We walk into the class room and I spot Cinna, he gives me a quick smile. Then I look around for where am I going to sit.  
Then I feel like Peeta is reading my mind because he then says, "come with me, we will sit with Annie over there," Pointing to where Annie is sitting. I nod and we walk over there.

When we are standing infront of Annie, Peeta says "this is Kat-"  
but he is cut off by Annie. She says, "I know who she is Peeta. Long time no talk Katniss," and gives me a smile.

Those words bring many memories of elementary school back. I nod responding to what she says.

Peeta breaks the silence.  
"Well let's get started on the song,"

* * *

We decide on the song before the bell rings. I run out of that class to get away from the awkwardness between Annie and me. Tonight I know peeta will ask what happened, and I won't say.

I'm standing at my locker grabbing my stuff before I start walking home. I send Peeta a quick text telling him to meet me at the front of the school and he replies with a simple ok.

I shut my locker and I am met with a familiar face.  
It's Glimmer.  
"Stay away from Peeta, or we will make your life worse worthless and miserable then it already is. If you don't stay away we will tell him about you being 'sick'" I freeze. How does she know this? Then I hear her laugh. "My mom volunteers at the hospitals during the week, and she tells me everything. We wouldn't want Peeta to know that you have been cutting for years, and have been on anti depressants longer, that would just be embarrassing."  
Then I fire back "Why do you even care? Your dating Cato."  
She laughs. "Yeah I'm totally am. Stay away from Peeta. Fact it sweetie, you are worthless broken girl who is not needed. So why would he want you? I'm actually helping you Katniss. It will save you from getting your heart broken." With that last sentence she walks away leaving me standing there in shock. The thing she does not know is that my heart was broken years ago.

I stand outside of the school waiting for Peeta with Glimmers words acho in my head over and over again.  
"Hey Katniss, I'm sorry for talking so long," I nod. Then I start walking.  
"We are walking?" He asks me.  
"Yes, do you have a problem with that?," I ask.  
"No. Not at all." Then we walk to my house, this will be a long walk.

We walk up the steps of my house and I open the room and we take our shoes off and immediately my mom walks into the living room, I start tensing up at the sight of her. She has not talked to me since the night after I got home.

"Hello, I'm Katniss mother. Katniss dear introduce us" I shiver, she never calls me dear.  
"This is Peeta Mellark my f-" I stop, he is not my friend, I can't call him that. "My partner" I correct. My mom nods.  
"Katniss make sure you take your an-" I cut her off.  
"Yeah I know," and I run the stairs pulling peeta with me.

When we reach my room I sit on bed. I need to take my anti depressants, but peeta is here, and he can't see them.  
"I'm going to go to the bathroom. Just wait here," then I bolt into the bathroom and lock it.  
I take the pills, unlock the lock and I walk into the room.  
"So what did you need to take?" He asks.  
"Nothing," and I sit beside him, "let's get started." We work on the project until until eight. When Peeta leaves I feel my depression coming back, I'm all alone again, and it scares me.

* * *

**An: thanks for reading. I am going to put a poll up. Vote for the song that Katniss, Annie, and Peeta will perform in. The next chapter. Hope you loved it. Don't forget to review. Also thanks to _ReineDesCoeurs, Jade R Manning, and _********ScribblinWriter for Reviewing.**


	10. Not a Chapter Please Read!

PLEASE READ!

I'm so sorry that this is not a chapter. But something happened tonight that needs to be addressed. Tonight my beta found someone on WattPad had taken my story And was using it has there own. This is **MY STORY**. Not hers. I hope she takes it down Or telling the people it was not her story. I would tell you guys her user but I don't want you giving her hate, I know what it feels like to be Cyberbullied, I stop it. But if she does not respond to anything I will tell you guys. Thank you for supporting me. I hope to upload ch10 soon, but I'm only at 947 words right now. I love you all.


	11. Performance

**An: Im so sorry for not updating sooner. Been a long week which makes me feel like crap but make my week by R&R. Also there is two songs in this chapter and the lyrics are in _italics. _**

**1.)The A Team by Ed sheeran **

**2.) Mean by Taylor Swift**

**Words: 1,783**

**Beta: ****ScribblinWriter**

******Reveiws-29 Favorites-24 Followers-48. Views- 4,728**

******Thanks to all of you^^**

**Check out ig accout for this story _BrokenBeyondRepair2013_**

**Also should I contine this story? Please take the poll telling me your honest opinion. Hope you enjoy. Bye**

* * *

Chapter 10

Part of me wishes I told him the truth about what happened, but I don't want him to know what a freak I am. This is what I think about lying in bed at 1:30 am in the morning of the performance. I should be sleeping but I just can't. My hands and ankles are swollen from me stressing about it. My brain keeps telling me how bad I will sing. The pain in my side gets worse and I roll onto it.

I have no got a wink of sleep yet. My brain does this often. Every time I try to sleep I am soon woken up by some strange dream that lasts a couple minutes. They are all the same. Each time I sing and nothing comes out and everyone laughs including Peeta. They laugh and point and call me Freak, Useless, Broken, Slut, Unwanted, Worthless, etc.

I take a deep breathe. I can't let it get to me. I will face them tomorrow, I will sing tomorrow. Peeta will not leave my side. He told me this the other night.  
That was my last thought before my eyes shut again.

* * *

I walk to school as fast as I can. My mom did it again, she yelled and slapped me. I can't break now, not today. I need to perform today, but first I need to warm up.

I start to run as fast as my legs can carry me, across the roads without looking and I soon reach the school. I grab the handle and pull the door open , I don't bother going to my locker, I need to sing.  
I race down the hallway and I quickly enter the music room. It's dark, and no one is here, not even Cinna. I run across the room and I pick up a guitar and I sit in one of the sits.  
I pension my hands on it and I choose a guitar chip. I search for the chip I have used Every single time I have played on this guitar. I soon find my black chip and I start to play.

_White lips, pale face  
Breathing in snowflakes  
Burnt lungs, sour taste  
Light's gone, day's end  
Struggling to pay rent  
Long nights, strange men_

_And they say  
She's in the Class A Team  
Stuck in her daydream  
Been this way since eighteen  
But lately her face seems  
Slowly sinking, wasting  
Crumbling like pastries  
And they scream  
The worst things in life come free to us  
Cause we're just under the upper hand  
And go mad for a couple grams  
And she don't want to go outside tonight  
And in a pipe she flies to the Motherland  
Or sells love to another man  
It's too cold outside  
For angels to fly  
Angels to fly_

_Ripped gloves, raincoat  
Tried to swim and stay afloat  
Dry house, wet clothes  
Loose change, bank notes  
Weary-eyed, dry throat  
Call girl, no phone_

_And they say  
She's in the Class A Team  
Stuck in her daydream  
Been this way since eighteen  
But lately her face seems  
Slowly sinking, wasting  
Crumbling like pastries  
And they scream  
The worst things in life come free to us  
Cause we're just under the upper hand  
And go mad for a couple grams  
And she don't want to go outside tonight_  
_And in a pipe she flies to the Motherland  
Or sells love to another man  
It's too cold outside  
For angels to fly  
An angel will die  
Covered in white  
Closed eye  
And hoping for a better life  
This time, we'll fade out tonight  
Straight down the line_

_And they say  
She's in the Class A Team  
Stuck in her daydream  
Been this way since eighteen  
But lately her face seems  
Slowly sinking, wasting  
Crumbling like pastries  
They scream  
The worst things in life come free to us  
And we're all under the upper hand  
Go mad for a couple grams  
And we don't want to go outside tonight  
And in a pipe we fly to the Motherland  
Or sell love to another man  
It's too cold outside  
For angels to fly  
Angels to fly  
To fly, fly  
For angels to fly, to fly, to fly  
Or angels to die_

The sound of clapping starts and I turn and I see Peeta walking towards me, and I blush.  
"You don't get to worry, you will do great today. You voice is amazing" that causes me the blush more. That is just what I needed.

"Thanks Peeta. Are you ready?"  
"I got the easy part, all me and Annie have to do is play the guitar, you are the one that has to sing."  
"It's nothing really." I say

Peeta tries to argue with me again but I shut him down.

The bell soon rings and me and Peeta go sit in the chairs we have been sitting in the other day.  
I yawn.  
"Katniss you are really tired." He  
comments.  
Well you would be to if you were up late last night overthinking, I think to myself. "That makes a girl feel better," I say.  
"I'm sorry," he says and looks down at his hands. I immediately feel guilty, I should not have said that to him .He was concerned about me, no one has been in awhile.  
"No, I'm sorry Peeta. Ignore what I said please. I did not mean it to come out like that." I say and Peeta smiles.

Cinna walks into the room and winks at me, seeing how close me and Peeta are sitting. I feel my cheeks heat up slowly. Peeta asks what happened but in don't answer him.  
Annie comes to join us, and then a little while later the bells goes. Things between me and Annie have been awkward. We have gone each other for years, we used to be good friends, but a lot has changed since then. I become a Career, then a couple years later I was kicked out and now I am here, a victim of the Careers. Annie joined the swim team and is co captain. She is also dating the other co captain Finnick.

I shake my head trying to clear those thoughts from my head.

Cinna puts our names into a hat and he draws them out. One by one. He reaches in and pulls one out. He picks up a microphone an calls out the name, "Gloss". Everyone claps and Gross and his other two partners sing "Dark Horse" by Katy Perry ft Juicy j.

When they finish everyone claps and they sit down. It was not bad, I have to say. But it could be better.  
This repeats a couple more times and then Glimmers is called. Her and Clove walk up to the front and shoot glares off at me before grabbing a microphone. They sing "We are never ever getting back together" by Taylor swift infront of everyone.

Then we clap. I realize that everyone has been called expect us. He calls Peetas name and all 3 of us walk to the front of the room. Peeta and Annie pick up guitars and I grab the microphone. I close my eyes and I take a deep breathe. peeta told me not to worry. I will not worry. I open my eyes to find about 26 pairs of eyes staring back at me waiting.

"Start when ever you want" Cinna says.  
I look at peeta and Annie who stand behind me and I mouth to them 1,2,3. On three they start playing and I wait for a moment to start.

_You, with your words like knives  
And swords and weapons that you use against me  
You have knocked me off my feet again  
Got me feeling like I'm nothing  
You, with your voice like nails on a chalkboard  
Calling me out when I'm wounded  
You picking on the weaker man_

_You can take me down with just one single blow  
But you don't know, what you don't know..._

_Someday I'll be living in a big ol' city  
And all you're ever gonna be is mean  
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me  
And all you're ever gonna be is mean  
Why you gotta be so mean?_

_You, with your switching sides  
And your wildfire lies and your humiliation  
You have pointed out my flaws again  
As if I don't already see them  
I walk with my head down  
Trying to block you out 'cause I'll never impress you  
I just wanna feel okay again_

_I bet you got pushed around  
Somebody made you cold  
But the cycle ends right now  
'Cause you can't lead me down that road  
And you don't know, what you don't know..._

_Someday I'll be living in a big ol' city  
And all you're ever gonna be is mean  
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me  
And all you're ever gonna be is mean  
Why you gotta be so mean?_

_And I can see you years from now in a bar  
Talking over a football game  
With that same big loud opinion  
But nobody's listening  
Washed up and ranting about the same old bitter things  
Drunk and grumbling on about how I can't sing  
But all you are is mean_

_All you are is mean  
And a liar, and pathetic, and alone in life  
And mean, and mean, and mean, and mean_

_But someday I'll be living in a big ol' city  
And all you're ever gonna be is mean, yeah  
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me  
And all you're ever gonna be is mean  
Why you gotta be so?.._

_Someday I'll be living in a big ol' city (Why you gotta be so?..)  
And all you're ever gonna be is mean (Why you gotta be so?..)  
Someday I'll be big enough so you can't hit me (Why you gotta be so?..)  
And all you're ever gonna be is mean  
Why you gotta be so mean?_

I look at everyone in the room and I glare at them. My eyes hold on Glimmer for a moment and we hold eye contact until I break it when Peeta says my name.

"Katniss, we did it. See you are amazing." and then he picks me up and spins me around.  
So much for trying to stay away from him.

* * *

**An: Thank you too Jade R. Manning x2, leggoomygreggo2(I will try to put that song in this story.), Kimberly, TaylorRae14, tjzoom21 (they will not die)**

**Also this is my idea, and my story. **

**Make sure to review :D and take the poll if I should continue this story.**


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